Bed time - must be a foreign word

I have been meaning to get this down on paper (or in this case, on computer) because I am just shocked at the experiences I had with some parents on the first few days of school.  Read on with an open mind, please.  I know this blog entry might rub some people the wrong way.

During the first two weeks of school, we get out early each day in order for us to meet with each student individually, give them a "pre-test" of sorts, and set goals/sign a contract with students, their parents, and the teacher(s).  If you are a Dual Immersion teacher (hi, that's me) I have double the students to meet with but I still try to get to know them and find out how I can best help them this year.

One of my students (I'll call him Q) came for his appointment he had with me and Mrs. B. our Spanish teacher. While I was trying to test him he was just not responding.  He kept laying his head down on the table and when he did respond he would talk like a baby or slur his speech really bad, just being lazy.  It was really frustrating considering I taught this boy's brother a couple years ago who seemed pretty "with it".  When FINALLY the testing was done, we had Q's dad come in right then to go over the results of the test.  The dad is a very nice man, old enough to be Q's grandpa (like in his late 60's), and very "with it" as well.  During the test results, I was trying to be as nice as possible and said: "Q was having a really hard time with this test.  I know he is a smart boy but he seemed to not be putting in any effort.  I think he might be tired."   I don't remember the entirety of our conversation that happened after that, but it came to the point where dad asked both of us "What time SHOULD a child go to bed?" After getting over the initial shock of being asked that question (this man could be my grandpa, he was probably raised with a strict bedtime, how does he not know?) I turned to Mrs. B. and she immediately said: "8:00!"  I followed up with "8 or 8:30 is good."  Dad, hesitant, responds with a laugh and says "In your dreams!"  I think we later found out that Q had been, up to at least that point, going to bed around 11 or later.  OH MY GOSH!!! Let me say that again: "OH MY GOSH!!" Really? And WHO is the parent in that house?  Are you kidding me? I told the dad that he just needed to be strict and when it's bedtime, it's bedtime.  I also told him about some research I have read about how children need 10-12 hours of sleep a night in order to have maximum brain function and proper development. He just kind of shrugged it off and didn't really say anything.  Again, I ask, who is the parent? Sounds like there might be a slight identity crisis in that home.

But it's not just in that home.  After that conversation with Q and his dad, Mrs. B. and I became curious and asked a few of the other students and their parents about bedtime.  Most of the responses were "oh, whenever he/she wants to go to bed, they do;" or "10:00, 11:00, whenever".  Back to my original question: Who is the parent in the house?  Truly,  I don't care if you work late, I don't care if your child throws a fit or fights you tooth and nail about going bed at 8:00, I don't care if it's still light outside when your child does go to bed.  YOU ARE THE PARENT so act like one!  In my short 6 years being a teacher one thing I have learned ans stuck with is that children, even the naughtiest of naughty, LOVE routines, schedules, and consistency.  When I stray from our regular schedule and routine of the day, my kids come unglued and none of us have a good day.  It's a lesson I have learned the hard way.  Sometimes, I have to fight the battle longer with some of the kiddos, but eventually they come around and settle into the routine; no fits, no crying, no fighting tooth and nail.  I am not saying I have perfect classes.  Ohhhhh noooooooo way am I saying that.  Kids just feel safer when there is consistency, whether they realize it or not.  I think, also, that many of our learning problems with our population at my school could be easily resolved with a good night's sleep every night.

Just one more rant:  I grew up always with a bedtime.  Bed time was bed time.  End of story!  In talking to a friend of mine from church she told me this: "I have 4 children, 3 teenagers and a pre-teen.  Every night at 9 o'clock they get all electronics taken away.  Ipods, cells phones, whatever.  We have family prayer and they go to their room for about 30 minutes.  9:30 is lights out! They sometimes think my husband and I are being so unreasonable but I'm not here to be their friend. I'm here to be their parent!"  AMEN!  Thank you.  I think I'll stop and end my post right here.

Ponder. Ready, go.  Share your thoughts. Thanks.